


why are we alive?

by bigstrongboss



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:05:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22041490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigstrongboss/pseuds/bigstrongboss
Summary: soldier and demo pass an evening by the campfire
Relationships: Demoman & Soldier (Team Fortress 2)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	why are we alive?

**Author's Note:**

> something silly i wrote a while ago. unedited.

By all accounts, sitting around a campfire on the outskirts of their base in Teufort, drinking watered-down beer and pretending they had been granted furlough, should be up there with the most depressing ways to pass an evening during ceasefire. And it was, but Demo had hit rock bottom so many times in his life that as long as he had a bottle in his hand, he couldn't give less of a damn where he was or how he got there. Plus, the campfire was nice.

Soldier, however, didn't seem so inclined as to agree.

"It's our constitutional right to leave base! You don't know this because you're English, but the fourth amendment states that as mercenaries, we are entitled to drink at our local bar during ceasefires. Entitled!" His helmet swivelled on his head as he punctuated every few words with violent hand gestures.

Demo screwed up his eye. It was true he didn't know a damn thing about his constitutional rights, but he was pretty sure that the only thing mercenaries were entitled to was the death sentence. "I don't know, mate," he shrugged, "I think the problem RED has is that our "local bar" keeps getting further away after our every visit. You know, since we keep blasting them to bits."

"Yeah, well," Soldier grumbled, "the fifth amendment states that-"

"Why don't we stop worrying about our rights for now, aye? It's not so bad out here. Look, you can almost make out the stars!" He pointed to the sky, which boasted two visible stars- although now thought about it, they were probably planets- which he could see through the mysterious dense smog RED and BLU pumped into the atmosphere. Maybe it wasn't much of a sight, and maybe it was a completely different hemisphere, but it brought back fond memories of stargazing with his mum, pointing out the different constellations and the stories-

"You're not going to start talking about hippie zodiac crap, are you?"

"You should watch what you call hippie crap, Solly," Demo warned, "but I know you don't have the patience for anything that isn't American, let alone isn't on Earth, so I wasn't going to waste my time."

"Good. Because I do not care for that hippie crap." He flashed a shit-eating, self-satisfied smirk at Demo, daring him to take the bait, but Demo only rolled his eye.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, lulled by undertones of passing traffic and crackling fire. Demo picked up a stick from the ground and poked the fire, and Soldier bounced his leg, working his way through his second beer.

"You know, Demo," Soldier said suddenly, staring hard into the fire, "I've been thinking lately."

"Never a good sign," Demo grinned. "What about?"

He shrugged and made a vague, broad gesture. "Life. War. You know how it is."

"Not really. I don't have a bloody clue what's going on in your head half the time. And the other half... I wish I didn't."

Soldier grunted. "Well, what I've been thinking is, what's the point of it all? War? Freedom? America?" He paused. "Why are we alive?"

It was the sort of question that in response Tavish felt he should scratch his stubble and offer some insightful witticism on the nature of being, but in his tipsy daze, he could only do the first part. "I don't know, mate," he said, "you tell me!"

"But you've thought about it too, haven't you?" Soldier persisted. "Remember that time when you passed out on my mattress and I rolled you onto the floor so I could sleep and then you said you weren't going to get up because life doesn't matter and there is no God? Then, I thought you were being a cop-out pansy, but now... do you really think that’s true?"

Demo snorted. "First of all, just because I didn't kick your arse for that then doesn't mean I won't now, so don't push it. And no, not exactly. I was kidding. It's not true to me. Maybe some people, but..." he sighed, slumping back in his chair, "it's complicated."

"Well, someone must have figured it out by now! We've been around for, what, at least two hundred years- it's not like I'm trying to figure out how many other countries there are."

Demo chose not to comment on his latter statement, and steepled his fingers. "Why don't you figure it out yourself then, if it's so bloody easy?"

"I have better things to do!"

"Like what?"

"Like fighting! Like polishing my boots and shouting at Scout! For America!”

"Well, if that's all more important than finding purpose in your life, then that probably is your purpose, aye?"

Soldier groaned and dragged a hand down his face. "But what's the point of fighting? What's the point of-" he cut himself off as though he had been about to blaspheme in front of a priest.

"America?" Demo finished.

"No!" Soldier barked. His eyes darted around under his helmet, searching for eavesdropping communists. "You dare accuse me of questioning the glory of our great and sacred nation and our noble saviour Uncle Sam? I'll have you know that even the slightest falter in-"

"Alright, Jesus, we're not being taped. And we've all seen your antique American flag collection. I'm not going to blab if you're having doubts about the greatness of our glorious nation or whatever it was."

Soldier spluttered. "I am  _ not _ having "doubts", mister, I am reveling in awe at the realisation that, as wondrous as the US is, the entirety of its splendour has yet to be revealed to me!"

And for a moment, Demo had to revel in awe at Soldier's ability to kid himself. "Of course. My mistake. So what you're really saying is that as great as America is, you feel like there should be... more?"

"I  _ know  _ there's more. I just have to find it. There has to be something else. There has to be."

Lost for words, they sat and stared up at the barren night sky. Soldier opened his mouth, then closed it again. Demo tried to take a deep swig from his beer, only to find his bottle was empty. 

"I'll tell you what more there has to be. More bloody beer!"

"You're goddamn right!" Soldier slapped his knee. He sat up straight and proud, grinning, as though their discussion had never occurred. "Pass me another one!"

And so they drank themselves to unconsciousness.


End file.
